I need wisdom……..It’s funny all the things you think about before you have a baby, even while pregnant and then you have the little guy and your plans go right out the window.

I never thought I was going to be one of those moms that slept with their baby or would want to cuddle as much as I do. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I need my space and I love it when he takes a nap in his crib all by him self and for a couple of hours.

I didn’t read many parenting books and as my son grows I’m realizing I may have created a monster. He’s not taking many naps on his own, he hates going to bed and it seems if we are not close he does not do well. Now maybe it’s because the first 30 days he was in the NICU with lots of noise, light and extra love. Or maybe it is because my husband and I spoiled him because we did not get to cuddle and love him as much as we wanted in the NICU. Whatever the case may be, I am having trouble letting him grow up and sleep on his own.

Again I never thought I would co-sleep and now here it is six months in and we still sleep together. My husband has asked that I star weaning myself so that he can learn independence and I totally agree, but I love my nightly cuddles and love. I fall a sleep listening to him breath.

Tonight he passed out in his crib and I’m leaving him in there. Most nights I pick him up when I go to bed and put him in bed with me. He’s with in arms reach of my bed but still this is hard. I just want to grab him and love on him but baby steps. My husband is right and I need to eventually move back into the master bedroom with him.

What is it that makes us so attached to our children? I crave my child. I try to leave and get a way but I just think about him the entire time and want to come back to him. Even when he is screaming I get frustrated and pissed off  but it is not long before I don’t care he is screaming and I just want to hold him.

I hate being away from him and now I have to wean myself from sleeping with him. 😦

What advice do you have for me on letting my son grow independence and not co sleep?