I remember the first time I heard the word millennial. I was in church and our pastor was explaining the new generation  of Christian. Millennials were born 1980 to 2000 and are more spiritual than religious. I am a millennial and more and more of us are joining the church to help lead them. This made me feel good and was happy to hear my fellow generation was spiritually connecting and helping to make a difference with in the Christian community.

My husband and I joined a church to grown in the Christian Community, to give our son structure and fellow healthy children to grow with. We joined in September and our son was born in November. Our church is very small so after a month we knew most of them and they knew us. After our son was born, our pastor came to visit us in the hospital to pray over us, which made me feel good about the church we chose.

While the pastor was there I took the the opportunity to chat with him and let him know where I was spiritually. In short, I was raised Catholic, I was baptized and went through communion, but I never liked church. I never went to church for guidance. I never prayed. We were never really part of the Church Community, e tried but we never really hung out with other Catholic families. We did go to the Labor Day picnic every year and had a ton of fried chicken and pie. Basically,  I never really got it. As I grew up, I always felt Christian, but a lot of my beliefs differed from the Catholic religion. Due to these differences I fell out of going to church. I tried to find a new church but nothing ever suck.

When I met my husband we were far from spiritual nor religious, but over time and with the loss of life, we both felt we needed a place to go for our family. My husband drove us in this direction more than me, but I was willing to go and embrace this new journey.

Honestly, I am having trouble with church. I love the people and the friends I am making, I just have trouble with the Word and Bible. I also have trouble with Christians. Not so much at our church but there are so many Christians out there that speak one thing and then do the opposite or mask behind religion.

I feel I am lost in the whole religion aspect of life. I am desperately trying to find my way. I have gone to many of the church events. I started Bible Study on How to Shape a Christian Woman. Most of the topics are hard for me. I feel rebellious to them. Not accepting and generally dismissive of the study. I feel bad about this but at this time I am still having trouble believing.

I do not take communion. I do not want to until I can completely embrace the church and teachings. I do not want to be fake or do it because that is what I am suppose to do. I do keep going, listening and I am keeping and open mind. Our pastor and his wife, who teaches the woman’s bible study are both real, funny and true Christians. I know I am in the right place to make my growth in the Christian community.

All I know is there is a God and Heavens. There is a Devil and Hell. I have a wonderful and close relationship with the God I know. I talk to Him often and I know He is there to guide me and keep me safe. I do accept Him as my Lord and Savior. I trust in Him and surrender my life to Him. I do believe He will come again. Everything else that I am working on.

My goal is to grow my life as a true Christian woman, embrace the structure of the church, to help spread God’s word and to build a Christian family for my Family.